Head to head ~ heart to heart ~ when will I find my true love?
It was the day before Valentine's Day and I was busy feeling sorry for myself, wondering when love will find me again. I mean real love - love from a real human being, that is, not someone from my imagination. One who is crazy about me. One whom I love and respect. One who shares my spiritualism and understands my hope and dreams.
Well, I know that I am loved by a lot of wonderful people. My family. My friends. My daughter. My colleagues at work. But I'm thinking about that special someone. I mean: "The One".
When will he be here? When will he arrive with open arms, showering me with hugs and kisses, keeping my bed warm at night, greeting me with the morning sunshine, loving me with the same passion as his love of humanity. But staying. Committing. Celebrating our attachment. Not hinting to leave. And being there - no matter what. And definitely, not needing a button to push in order to love me.
Of course I realize that I am being too idealistic. Afterall, what human can possibly satisfy all my idealism and dreams?
It all seems so hopeless. I'm hopeless. So, I should just focus on growing gracefully into a lonely old maid...
Then an encouraging message came from a good friend. A message unlike the many I've received before. Though the words ring a familiar tone. Supportive. Positive. Encouraging. There is a marked difference... This time, somehow I finally listen. I finally understand.
"Felicia, you are yourself endless LOVE. You really are. The love you seek is YOU yourself...please Make no mistake. You are endless ........ "
I took me a little time to really digest the message. I was trying to understand the context of the message. I asked what actions had I taken, what behaviors had I exhibited to qualify for such a status? How? How have I been "endless love"?
Then I remembered how I have been. A constant drive to reach out to spread message of love and hope to others. How I love my family. The compassion I have for those suffering. How I respect others' rights. The sacrifices I make for my daughter. The genuine caring I give to my friends. My sensitivity to others' feelings. How I refuse to take advantage of anyone. How I love my work, earning my keep, taking care of my daughter. How I embrace my responsibilities. How I rather spend a lonely Friday night than to give someone false hope. How I still care deeply for the one lacking the loving button...
I then realize that it is true. I AM. LOVE. No need to keep searching. I've found that love from within, and it is a wonderful gift. And I am blessed.
If you are reading this. I hope that you too, have found the love within. And your loving will give you strength. Remember... YOU. ARE. LOVE. I hope by revealing my vulnerabilities I can help you see that deep down we are all vulnerable - no matter how strong we appear in the public view. But it is okay to be vulnerable. Because it is our vulnerability that gives us our humanity. It is our vulnerability that will lead us to LOVE.
~ There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Henry David Thoreau
I dedicate this post to my special friend who gave me the gift of realizing that I am LOVE. For this special gift, I am eternally grateful. Namaste.